Incognito

Remember that time you asked a chick for her number when you had a big, old honkin' piece of lettuce stuck in your teeth? Or the time you did a big burnout in front of your friend's house and sideswiped two cars the instant you dropped the clutch? Well, imagine you're driving your new WRX and you get stomped by a 13-year-old Hyundai Excel. And all your buddies are there to see it. Suddenly, the lettuce in the teeth thing doesn't sound so bad.

Billy Rubio's 1990 Hyundai Excel was once a hand-me-down beater from his older brother, who bought the car at auction. Now it's powered by a lightly modified Mitsubishi 4G63 and it prowls late-night Los Angeles looking to embarrass WRX pilots. Built in only four months for only $4,000, it just may be the ultimate sleeper.

"I wanted something different," says Rubio during our late night photo shoot. "Now all these Hondas I eat for breakfast make quick right turns after realizing they just got smoked by a Hyundai Excel."

The engine actually came from a Galant VR-4--an engine identical to the 4G63 used in the first-generation Eclipse. The internals are still stock, but Road Race Engineering in Santa Fe Springs, Calif., which actually executed the swap, added a Blitz blow-off valve and a three-core Blitz intercooler to the mix. Check out how discretely the intercooler peeks out from under the front bumper. Road Race also made the custom 3-inch exhaust system, which, in proper sleeper fashion, keeps the engine's rasp in check, thanks to a Sebring muffler with a small, 3-inch tip.

The five-speed manual is also from the donor Galant, and remains stock, but the guys at Road Race added a Stage 3 clutch, a 2,600-lb. pressure plate and custom performance axles from the Drive Shaft Shop to get the power to the front tires.

According to Mike Welch at Road Race, the swap was easy. It turns out the Excel is almost identical underneath to a Mitsubishi Mirage of the same vintage, so it wasn't really all that more difficult than your average Honda swap. Beyond the fabrication of the motor mount on the timing belt side, everything just bolted right up. Even the wiring was straightforward.

Once the engine was in, Rubio decided the aging Hyundai suspension needed replacement. He installed 18-way adjustable Tein coil-overs front and back, and Tein camber plates that were designed to fit a Mirage. Oddly enough, Rubio says the Excel's rear suspension is the same as an '86 Corolla GT-S, so hardware is not hard to find.

The brakes, which are easily seen through the 16x7 Enkei wheels, are stock down to the teeny, tiny rear drums. From a safety standpoint, this is bad. When you've got more than 225 hp on tap, you really should invest in a good set of brakes. However, those rear drums, along with the squared-off stock bodywork, have suckered many unsuspecting members of the big wing crowd into races they have no chance of winning. Tires are Nitto 555s measuring 205/45R-16.

With more help from his younger brother Vincent, Rubio added a couple of Tenzo seats, a MOMO steering wheel and shifter boot, and stereo upgrades, including a Kenwood CD player and Infinity speakers. The two also removed the rear seat, which will soon be upholstered to match the Tenzos, and integrated a set of R-1 Competition gauges into the stock dash. Rubio chose to keep tabs on the engine's revs, water temp and the exhaust temp.

The body, which is completely stock, just got a quick straightening and a fresh coat of white only days before our photoshoot. Sleeper or not, Rubio just couldn't bear to have his ride photographed for a magazine with door dings and missing side molding.

Next on the to-do list are a bigger turbo, upgraded engine internals, a limited slip and a serious dyno tune session, but Rubio has no desire to compromise the car's streetability or its sleeperness. He just wants to make it even faster.

So how fast is it? Well, in typical sleeper fashion, Rubio won't tell us. Despite running the car frequently at California Dragway in Fontana, Calif., Rubio says his ETs are top secret. But he did say this.

"To all you WRX fans, bring it on. I also have no problem with turbo Audis or all you musclecar boat lovers. Bring on them tanks."

The next time you talk to your boss with a booger hanging from your nose, or leave the house with your fly open, think of it this way: At least you didn't just get outrun by a 13-year-old Hyundai sedan with drum brakes.