Ultimate Street Car Ride Quality - The Results

Aka The Girlfriend Test
It only took three years, but it looks like USCC participants are finally starting to grasp just how important The Girlfriend Test is to the bottom line. Since they realize now that my scores are just as important, some have resorted to all-out bribery in a bid for me to tip the numbers a bit higher in their favor. Guess what? It works! This year's lineup yielded the highest scores I've ever given. Women are easily swayed into dating men with fast cars, and it's all but a done deal if the car is fast and still retains the new car smell when he picks her up. Lucky for me, three of the participants this year were driving vehicles that practically just rolled off the dealership lot. But no, I kept my hands to myself.

Unfortunately, the not-so-new Impreza L turned out to be less than ideal for female passengers. While the interior STi impersonation was impressive, build quality didn't count for much on my scoreboard. I suffered through a heinous test ride in deathly uncomfortable (but indeed supportive) Sparco Corsa seats, strapped down with a five-point harness (a huge no-no in this test), sweating because the car lacked air conditioning. Poor guys, they actually tried to build a real racecar; imagine that.

The poor E30 BMW only mustered 70 points on this test, which easily would have put him in second or third place a few years ago. The car is a personal favorite of mine, and this one had a spacious, comfortable interior and a non-intrusive roll cage. Unfortunately, the compromise of a whining supercharged V8 engine, over other options, killed his score.

Cheston Chiu earned a subpar sixth place finish with his Z, which had nothing to do with his finely adjusted M-Workz suspension, but he did present me with a bouquet of roses and a personalized music CD-complete with hits by Berlin, Usher, and Sheryl Crow. I was ready and willing before the road noise killed the mood. I'm sure I also flashed an unsuspecting Jay Chen a bit too much from under my skirt as I attempted to climb out of his super low car. I was this close to doing the deed with the owner of the seventh place Skyline, a car that included a special "girlfriend" glove box containing girly essentials like lotion, beauty products, and a mini bottle of Fiji water. It even had pillows. Fortunately, for him, his real girlfriend tagged along to the competition.

The Bergenholtz Mazda3 takes top honors in this test, though it had a slight competitive advantage, being a brand new vehicle. With the majority of the modifications being done to the engine and under the car, the interior remained untouched. This meant that I got to relax in luxurious leather seats with the best air conditioning in the competition (which means a lot when you're in the desert in summer). The V8 Audi Coupe Quattro actually tied the Mazda3, as it offered a timelessly luxurious cabin and a V8 exhaust note so beautiful it made me cry. Bad brake squeal almost threatened to give it a second place finish, like an American gymnast falling short of the gold medal by a thousandth of a point to an underage Chinese athlete. A surprise in the lineup? The R35 GT-R's exasperatingly unsupportive passenger seat and its third place finish. There's no point in going from 0-90 mph in under five seconds if your girlfriend hates being with you in the car.
-Jacqueline Liu